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deutschsprecher
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Name: Ben
Country: United States
State: Kansas
Metro: Olathe
Birthday: 10/13/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: I read and listen to music. My iPod has finally become a good investment.
Expertise: Speaking German and Russian (sometimes),Singing,Piano,awesomeness,modesty,acting (?)
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Government
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  sporkofpeace
Member Since:
3/13/2004
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| This last Friday I got a haircut and let me tell you, it is so short! the lady used the number 2 attachment on the razor for the back and sides of my head and the top's just a bit longer. It's significantly shorter than I wanted it to be and was not too pleased with it when I got it, but I'm pretty good at staying positive and getting used to things. Besides, it allows for fun fauxhawks and other things, but that's not what I wanted to say. Tonight, after arriving at some friends' house to watch a movie, a friend of theirs who was leaving said, "oh, you got a hair cut." to which I replied, "yeah, a super short hair cut!" because I am still shocked at how short it is. He then said (in a paraphrased sort of way), "ha, you know, with the glasses you have, that come out on the sides, you kinda remind me of Drew Carey." My smile faltered a bit and I wouldn't be surprised if I twitched a little before regaining my composure and deciding it was best to not retaliate or run off to cry. He left and we continued on with our night, forgetting the whole thing. As I was driving home, though, I remembered what he'd said and got very offended and my mood has since degenerated to the point of writing on xanga.
I already have issues with weight, though I know I'm far better off than most people these days, and this hair cut could've come out much better so this really didn't help anything. I don't even think Drew Carey's all that funny! Overall, my self-esteem and body image have been dealt a hard blow and it might take a while to recover.
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| ... that Beatles Rockband is pretty freakin' awesome. Jake and I rocked at it this week.
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| I applied at four places yesterday at The Legends and had interviews at two. Of course, those two are the places I don't think I'd enjoy. Javaland, the coffee place in Nebraska Furniture Mart, is small and nice, but a lot of responsibility is left to the employees and that's new to me. On the plus side, though, I don't have to clean outside of my work area 'cause NFM already has custodial people.
The other place is T-Rex Cafe. It's a super neat looking restaurant with animatronic dinosaurs and sound effects and a giant octopus with moving tentacles! A manager sat down and talked to me when I brought in the application and seemed really unhappy with his life. Few of the employees there looked happy. If I do get a job there, I'm going to have a lot of work to do to make it fun. Robot dinosaurs can only do so much.
The job I'm really hoping for is the Gap. I think that working at five in the morning will be good for me. I like the feeling of having accomplished super amounts of work before noon. I also wouldn't mind the discount : )
The last application went to Off Broadway Shoes but when I handed my application to a manager he just smiled, oddly, and said "Thank You!" and it was assumed that I would be leaving then. I guess he saw that my shoes didn't go with my outfit, which was true and only because I couldn't find my dress shoes and my Vans were all I had. I wouldn't mind their discount 'cause there are some Pumas I'd love to wear.
All in all, yesterday was productive but I don't think there will be a lot of fruit. I'm trying to do things with my life but, so far, nothing's working out. Oh well, at least Cherith Brook and New Roots will need me : )
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| I forget how many people still use Xanga! Well, the base issue of the previous post has been addressed and we had a good talk. It should've happened a long time ago, but I didn't know what exactly was going on until recently. Recently; as in, an hour before I wrote that post. So, all's well that ends well? I will say one thing, though: it's easier to handle a problem when you know what is it.
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| Also, I have difficulty typing the right keys but that's for another post.
I'm jealous. I've figured it out! That is why I am so mean. Now, you're probably saying, ""Ben, you're not mean! Maybe a little catty or bitchy, but not mean." and if you aren't, well, this post is probably about you. Before I continue, I must clarify what I mean (pun?). I am particularly mean to one person. My first explanation was unrequited love, but that's barely the beginning of it! --For the remainder of the post I will be using the mostly incorrect gender-neutral singular 'they' to refer to this person in order to leave all ambiguity intact-- Sure I've been crushing on them for the last year now, but I thought I'd gotten used to the fact that there's not even a quark of a chance of anything ever even coming close to happening. I was mistaken in that assumption. I am still bitter about that lack of probability and I show it. We've talked seriously about relationships, of course, but they were relationships with other people. I've wished for a long time that they would begin a relationship that was serious and healthy because they need it and deserve it and for goodness' sake, it's about time, and now that they have, I am jealous. Jealous of They #1 for being in a relationship and jealous of They #2 for being in a relationship with They #1. That is why I have a problem with said relationship and am mean to They #1. When they say, "sorry I can't hang out even though it's been planned for a week because I have to go hang out with my significant other instead." my first thought is, " Douche!" when it should be, "Oh, that's good. They don't get much time to be a couple."
So, I pretty much just need to get over this and stop being so petty. I should also probably talk to them about it.
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